Coping with the loss of a loved one is the hardest thing I have ever done. It hurts a lot, and makes you wonder if there was anything you could have done. You look back at all the fun times you had, but you also look back at every argument with regret. Maybe you wish you would have spent more time with them or had called them more often. The first thing you can do for yourself is to accept that your loved one is happy, and if they were sick, know they are not sick anymore. Don’t ever regret anything, know that they loved you and they don’t want you beating yourself up over something you said. Understand that everyone’s time is limited and there’s nothing you can do to change that. Know that everything happens for a reason.
I am speaking from experience, I grew up losing loved ones and I know how hard it is. I lost my grandmother when I was 7, lost my mother when I was 8, my grandfather when I was 10 and my father when I was 16. I lost too many aunts and uncles in between those times but I don’t remember my exact age. Losing my parents was the worst thing that had ever happened. It was very hard for me to understand and accept. I know the feeling of having your world crash down in a matter of seconds. I’ve been through the depression and trying to figure out why. If you are reading this because you have lost someone and you’re trying to learn how to deal with it, I know how you feel. I am not a therapist, doctor, or anything like that. I’m just an average woman who has a lot of life experience.
Don’t get mad. I know this is hard to do. When I lost my dad, I was mad at everyone, especially God. I didn’t understand why he would take everyone away from me. I didn’t understand why I had to grow up without either one of my parents. I got very depressed at this time and took my anger out on everyone around me. Whenever my brother tried to comfort me I would scream at him. I didn’t want anyone around me and that’s the worst thing you can do. So, don’t get mad. Let your emotions out. Sometimes the best thing you can do is cry. You do not need to “man up”. Just cry, let it all out. If someone is trying to comfort you, let them. They love you and they probably understand what you’re going through.
Take time to understand that God will help you. Reach out to Him and pray. This took me a long time to understand. I was mad at God to begin with, but then i accepted that He knew what He was doing. My family members that i lost were very sick and in a lot of pain. Now they are not suffering anymore, they are happy and they are still with me in my heart and dreams. They will always be with me and I know that they love me. I remember all the happy times we shared together and it makes me smile.
Remember to talk. Talk to your friends, your family, even your counselor if you are in school. Don’t bury your feelings, that’s not healthy. It may not seem like it at first but talking about your feelings will help. I buried my feelings for years and it made me very depressed. When i started talking and letting everything out it got better. Day by day, I was getting happier and it didn’t feel like i had an elephant on my chest anymore. Take everything one step at a time, each day is a new day and a new opportunity to find happiness within yourself. Nobody can be happy for you, that has to come from within.
It took me a while to cope with losing the people who I loved, but after a while I had it under control. I cried, prayed and talked to everyone. I even started a journal. I wrote everyday, I wrote down memories, dreams, goals, whatever was on my mind. I noticed that helped also. My main goal was just to get my feelings out, and when I did I felt better. Just remember, its okay to cry. It’s okay to be upset. There is nothing wrong with grieving. Also remember, you are not alone. There are people out there who will help you, there are people who understand what you’re going through. Don’t feel like you have to overcome this obstacle by yourself. There is someone out there who cares. I care, I don’t want anyone feeling alone like I did. That’s the whole point of me starting this blog, my focus is for you to know that You Are Not Alone.